May 16, 2014 at 4:48 am #3926
The concept of the good fight is something I bought into early on. I thought that by fighting I would advance my cause. The only win in my fight was the pockets of attorneys who used my daughter as a pawn and drained every last penny I had. In the end I never saw her again. 14 years later I have been effectively erased from my daughters world.
If there is a good fight it would have to be an internal fight. The ongoing dialogue that I secretly have with the underlying theme of “did I do the right thing”. The fight in my case is what perpetuated an ugly life draining heart shattering world for my daughter and for me. The fight fueled the irrational. It destroyed any foundation that perhaps could have been restored with cooler heads and calmer hearts. When so much is at stake it is tremendously difficult not to fight with every fiber of my being to save my daughter from a fate that will impact every adult relationship she will have, her self esteem, education, social life, and any sense of connecting with society as a whole. It was the fight that I wish I had let go of because that was about me not my daughter. And because of that I will wrestle in the deep waters of guilt knowing that I was to blame because I tried to fight the good fight… because I thought that was what I was supposed to do with every fiber of my being. In the end I lost her completely and more importantly she lost me.
Be like water whenever possible. The good fight is a myth. As the fires burn in San Diego and I receive no response about the well being of my daughter, I can only hope and wonder that she is safe.
October 19, 2014 at 7:26 pm #4189
I am so sorry for you and your daughter. Our story is a long and difficult one to share but I completely understand how you feel
April 12, 2015 at 6:41 pm #4331
I know what you mean. It is hard to keep going. I had legal aid after 3 years of paid and I had a good legal aid lawyer and my ex said she was going to kill herself and the kids and had a melt down. It hard dealing with someone who is controlling. MY ex has some issues and she needs help. I don’t think she will ever get it. I now have my kids 24/7 and sorry to hear your story. Hope your daughter comes around sometime to talk to you. I did not see my kids very much in nearly 7 years. My ex made up allegations, and fake text and emails to make me look bad.
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