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  • #4410

    d_egerton
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    Nineteen years ago I was a full time stay at home mom of a two year old little boy that was my world. Then I found out that his father was having an affair. When I approached my husband in regards to the affair he pushed me down a flight of stairs and took my son. I could not find him and did not find either of them until I found myself served with divorce papers, a restraining order from my home, my checking account closed and a private investigator following me 24/7 in order to wait for me to go to the grocery store to repossess my vehicle.BLIND SIDED!! This is very important for all of you going through a custody battle to know this term. When the divorce was final and joint custody was set. My ex would move my son around so I could not find him leaving me driving around in a rented car for days searching for my son. The police wouldn’t help because it was a “family issue” and had to be reported to the family court. When my ex was threatened by the judge with a slap on the wrist I was able to pick my son up who would take hours to console because he was two years old and would scream and cry when I would come to get him. Three weeks after my divorce the girlfriend was moved into my home and when I would call I was told by her that he had a new mommy. This went on for another three months until my son would physically run from me while his family stood by watching.I made a decision that sent me into a nervous breakdown. Even writing this now I am in tears, I decided to stop trying I could not put my baby through it anymore. There was no help at that time other than domestic violence which I was no longer in and this was not considered abusive by the courts. unfortunately the Missouri courts had more of a first come first serve approach to custody if my husband had my son in possession when he filed for divorce along with the house and had money, well then he must have been the better parent. Nobody was willing to help me fight this because nobody knew how too. My little boy is now 21 years old, a man.Throughout the years I kept up with him through very short conversations with my in laws, my ex changed his number and moved and left no paper trail. My son never had a Facebook or any trail on the internet. Until now. My son turned 21 as of March 2016 and I was able to find an address for him living with his father, step mother and half brother. Part of me was hesitant I admit, but the truth needs to be told. My son needs to know that his biological mother never stopped worrying or wondering when he was sick, what his birthdays were like, who kissed him when he was scared or hurt? My son needs to decide for himself whether or not he wants to get to know his biological mother and his whole other family he has. Including a sister, grandmother, aunt, cousins and uncle.I just started my quest and I am interviewing counselors that specialize in this situation as well as legal avenues and sites like this. This is not something I can do alone because it IS going to be the uphill battle of my life, but I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do.I hope this motivates any of you who are separated from their children to use any and all tools you can to find them, they deserve the truth and more importantly they deserve you no matter how old they are or at the very least the choice to want to get to know you. I appreciate whoever you are reading this and any help or feedback is appreciated!

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